Sometimes leadership lessons come from a holiday craft table

Thanksgiving was hosted by my brother and sister-in-law this year.

They graciously opened their home to 25 family members for four days. And as if feeding all of us wasn’t generous enough, my sister-in-law also set up a creative station: small nutcrackers and ornaments, paints, brushes, craft supplies—everything we’d need to sit together, make something, and easily carry home a tiny piece of the holiday in our carry-ons.

It turned out to be a gift in more ways than she expected - it revealed a familiar pattern I often see at work. 

At the craft table:

Some people were uneasy at first. They wanted an example to copy and felt uncomfortable imagining their own design—the blank canvas was intimidating.

• It’s important to try new things. To challenge people to stretch their limits and assumptions.

Others felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of paint choices and spent more time scanning the table for the right shade. “Where’s the blue,” they’d ask. It often was right in front of them.

• We get so overwhelmed that we cannot see what is in front of us. Pausing to notice, to really pay attention is key. Create an environment that allows you to look beyond chaos.

We had to share everything—the rinsing cups, the paint pens and platters, and one coveted paintbrush that everyone wanted to use but was never available. (A status shared by the single bathroom in the busy house: always in use, rarely free.)

• Asking people to share will teach you a lot about who’s on your team. Some people shared freely. Others felt entitled to certain brushes and paints. It’s a good thing to try when you’re working on team dynamics.

The crafts required patient painting. We all made mistakes requiring correction.

• Everyone makes mistakes. How we react to these and resolve them counts. Even the craftiest of us made and corrected their mistakes, learned from them and then offered guidance to others on how to avoid the same mistake.

Several people lamented throughout the multi-hour crafting process that their brushes at home were much better. “If only I had known, I would’ve brought my own,” they repeated.

• When you’ve generously brought people together, it’s a kick in the teeth to hear people complain. It may make you feel less inclined to continue coaching and guiding your team. Leaders create opportunities for teams to collaborate and still we have to mold the culture to ensure that negativity and complaints don’t overwhelm the everyday work.

What played out around that craft table happens at work every day.

Teams complain about tools, processes, procedures, decisions—all under the banner of “process improvement” or sometimes "transparent culture".

But constant criticism, especially in the moment, drains energy. It lowers the collective mood, even when things are going well.

Take the lesson from the craft table to your role as leader:

Let people know the rules of the game.

Appreciate (out loud) the behaviors you want to see more of. 

Speak directly to the behaviors that are unacceptable.

Provide dedicated time and direction on how you’ll collect feedback. Give the team a structured time to brainstorm, innovate, and iterate together.A planned, intentional time to evaluate and improve tools and processes together transforms griping into creativity. It turns frustration into collaboration. And it makes everyone’s day more productive, enjoyable, and focused.

Put your team into unfamiliar roles and situations so that you have an opportunity to observe, guide and coach them.

Sometimes leadership lessons come from a holiday craft table: the same shared tools, the same tight space, the same small frustrations—and the same opportunity to turn noise into connection and chaos into creativity.